Californian bumper stickers and other signs

(by courtesy of the BBC Newsnight daily e-mail):

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

Out of my mind… back in five minutes.

Look busy – God’s coming.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Eschew obfuscation.

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.

Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. [BLB note: This was a common and perceptive comment on employment policy in east and central Europe in communist days.]

It’s not hard to meet expenses; they’re everywhere.

Jury: 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Laugh alone and people cross the street to avoid you.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

Why be difficult when, with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

My karma ran over your dogma.

Adults are just kids who owe money.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?

And some signs:

From Philip in Cyprus: Faiq Jewellers and Faiq Moneychangers in Muscat.

From Michael Loughrey, a sign from a Texas shop window: “Shoplifters will be beaten, stabbed and stomped. Survivors will be prosecuted.”

From Andrew Emison: Dry Cleaners in Bangkok: “Drop your trousers here for best results.”

And a Nairobi restaurant: “Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.”

4 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Everywhere in the States you see the bumper-sticker: ‘Proud parent of a high school honors student’ (rather embarrassing to the student, I would have thought). I spotted in Eugene, Ore.: ‘My Australian cattle-dog is smarter than your high school honors student’. I encountered the dog in question a little further on: indeed, a canny animal.
    Tim W.

  2. Brian says:

    Two great additions to the collection, Tim: thanks. Pity the bumper sticker habit hasn’t caught on here in the UK. We might have seen some nice British ironies.


  3. Have you noticed the ad at the top of the page that Blogger seems to have automatically generated?
    “Say thanks to Tony Blair”!

  4. Brian says:

    Not on *my* browser, I’m relieved to say!